Reading Vogue’s fabulous 30 Fashion Adventures, which I mentioned in my last entry, has rather inspired me. En route home on the train after my debaucherous weekend; I was making constructive use of my time, and drafting this entry on my BlackBerry – nothing like multitasking.
I decide to write my own fashion adventures, which aren’t quite as fabulous, and epic as Vogue’s, but are more economical (we are in a recession after all!), a bit of luxury everyone can strive for, and something more of us can relate to. Except mine is not going to be thirty adventures, too much effort on a Sunday to do that much!
Lorien’s fashion adventures (better than Vogue, naturally)
“Sip Dom Pérignon (Or Dommy P, as those dear to it call it) in sweatpants, a hoody, and UGG boots (shameful comfort), in a champagne bar, for no apparent reason other than, because you can or that you fancied a drink!”
“Waking up, and throwing back on your Prada mini dress, and skyscraper killer heels from the night before; to do the walk of shame home.”
“Popping out to get some milk, and coming back with some lovely white shopping bags emblazoned with Harvey Nichs… and of course, no milk.”
“Appreciating the divine, clandestine luxury of satin Bjorn Borgs underneath all your clothes. It is a real comfort.”
“Saving up for weeks, and weeks – possibly living off baked beans; just to buy that Paul Smith bag.”
“Dressing up in your latest Ted Baker dress to frolic around the house… just because.”
“Buying the last pair of Kurt Geiger pumps left in the sale. Right shape, right colour… Perfect. Just one size too small, sure it’ll be fine (or not!).”
“Run around barefoot outside in the rain in a Warehouse silk dress, and not care.”
“Dress like a WAG, and hit Selfridges, and Harvey Nichs, just once (okay maybe more than once). Oh, and don’t forget the oversized Marc Jacob’s sunglasses of course.”
“Convince yourself that the Hugo Boss top, which you’re about to buy, is an essential – after all what Hugo Boss top isn’t an essential?!”
“Go through a department store, try on every fragrance, and after much thought and reflection, decide that the Chanel fragrance you’ve worn every days for years is actually the best.”
“Wear your favourite Jack Wills blazer as a coat, in mid Winter – despite the fact it is absolutely freezing.”
“Own a gilet from dearest Ralph’s, Polo Ralph Lauren that is, you don’t have to wear it – just own it.”
“Buy that Topshop top in both colours (or every colour), because you simply couldn’t decide which one to get.”
“Have a D&G watch, not actually for telling the time (you automatically look at your BlackBerry for that), just to look pretty.”
“Own a Marks & Spencers cashmere jumper, for those cold evenings and moments where everyone needs that little comfortable touch of casual luxury in their lives.”
“Buy yourself some Calvin Klein underwear, because you simply forgot to bring some for tomorrow with you when you have the chance to be a dirty stop out.”
“Buy a new Hermes scarf because you cannot be bothered to go find a fabric defuzzer, and your current one is looking a little worn.”
“Throw on the Louboutins heels, an Aubin & Wills dress, and a full face of Dior make up just to go buy a newspaper (which you don’t intend on reading, you just think the person who works at the news-agents is particularly aesthetically pleasing).”
“Losing your Louis Vuitton virginity, and maxing out your credit card at the same time.”
I have a confession to share with you all, I feel so ashamed, yet if I am entirely honestly secretly proud. I walked out of Harvey Nichs without paying.
It’s not as bad as it sounds, it was purely ACCIDENTAL. I was having champagne and olives avec Gemma Kuczora at the Harvey Nichs cafe (you pay afterwards, or so I gather but there’s not a clear till point, and they did not give me a bill). We got up to go look at sunglasses, spent about twenty minutes walking around, asked at a till where the toilets were, made use of said toilet facilities, and then we left – the security guard even opened the door for us. I had completely forgotten, and they did not make any attempt to remind me.
It was only half an hour later in Selfridges when budgeting money in head I realised. Of course I was not man enough to go back and rectify it, I am rather embarrassed – but never less thank you Harvey Nichols for the free champagne and olives, I enjoyed it.
Only problem is how am I going to show my face in Harvey Nichs again?! I was only there earlier in the week for an Amex shopping party, which was excellent by the way. I consumed lots, and lots of free champs and had the lovely company of the delightful Neil and, Chris Brown.
That night was rather fun, and I bought myself a Paul Smith bag, why not?! I also bought myself a new Paul Smith scarf (my last one, which I do love needs some TLC) Saturday from Harvey Nichs.
I am in a bit of a Paul Smith phase? I love how demure it is too, not too flashy. It’s also fabulously british! I also bought a Paul Smith top, but I’m returning it because it’s way too big for me even in a size small sadly. That’s a shame, oh well.
I bought some new underwear in Selfridges, there is something about new underwear I love? That new underwear feeling is incredible. I have a thing for Calvin Klein steels. I love the fit. Not too long, not too short – perfect, although I’m surprised my mother doesn’t make jokes about the fact there’s more material in a pair of socks or something.
I went back to Gemma’s before going out, and polished off most of a bottle of prosseco, after that champs at Harvey Nichs, all on an empty stomach save for the olives – the night was bound to be a mess, oh, and it was!
In case you didn’t guess or know (which I doubt), I am the mess in that gorgeous dark blue Hugo Boss shirt – I adore that shirt.
I discovered a new favourite lethal drink. It really is lethal. Beverly Hills Ice Tea – vodka, light rum, gin, tequila, triple sec, champagne, fresh lemon juice, simple syrup, sparkling wine. It even sounds lethal! Gorgeous, but very potent. I do love my cocktails though!
Speaking of drinks, I treated Gemma, and myself to a hot chocolate avec Jagermeister at Birmingham’s Frankfurt Market. At first I was unsure as it does not sound like the two would combine well, but Tara Tomes was right – it will change your life. Entirely delicious, and in fact I am craving one right now.
This morning I discovered that I misplaced my debit card, quelle horreur. I think I left it in a taxi on the way back to Gemma’s in Selly Oak from a club or something. So this morning I had to cancel it, and order a new one.
The woman on the phone was so irksome. I explained my situation to her, I even included the fact that I had NOT been home yet… she is then all, ‘so what’s your card number?’. I lost my card, I haven’t been home – does she really think I am going to have my card number on hand? After some ridiculous security questions she finally cancelled it.
Have you ever lost your card on a night out?
Luckily I had just enough money to get home, literally just. I should have a new card in ten days, but in the world of banking that probably means two weeks. It’s so irksome, as I only ever use my card really. Maybe it’ll help me stop spending so much money? Doubt it…
Off to London tomorrow, as part of my art and design course I have to go to the Tate. Not really feeling it myself, but perhaps I’ll get some shopping done? It’d a be crime to go to London, and not buy anything after all. I need to decide what I’m wearing tomorrow, and generally recover from last night…
