I haven’t updated in a while, simply because I have had massive site issues (thanks to my host they are now fixed, touch wood!), oh, and I’ve been busy – it has been my birthday after all. So yes, I am just that little bit older, wiser (I hope, but who am I kidding?), and apprehensive about the next year of my life. I had quite a respectful birthday, well respectful by my standards anyway (I am known for debauched behaviour…). It was a pleasant intimate affair with close friends – also got to catch up with some lovely people before hand at All Bar One, and Pub du Vin (especially my “twin” TT)!
En generale I am not a fan of birthdays, they remind me of how little I have achieved in my life so far, and make me think about things one shouldn’t think about. I suppose I find them quite depressing, and they make me feel awfully lonely. A Lorien that is lonely, is an awful Lorien indeed. I’m an affection parasite, I need affection, and love – but I suppose unlike a parasite I also have a lot of love to give. Guess no-one wants it hey?
We all know that moment in life when we finally get what we want, whether it be those Louboutins, you’ve painstakingly saved for, or just those few moments with that certain someone. Was it worth the hype, the anticipation, the saving, the preparing? Most of the time, yes, but sometimes it only leaves you wanting more, or wonder if that’s really what you wanted. I am having one of those moments, I got what I wanted, now it’s just left me feeling empty, and craving more. With, “more”, not in sight, I am admittedly at a bit of a loss uhm… I know what I want, but I don’t think I deserve it – guess I shall have to work on that one right? I am just tired of trying to make things happen, but I suppose I should be thankful, because when they do, they are quite special. If anything, I am just left dazed, and confused. Whilst I am cryptic blogging (I just cannot help myself), I might as well mention one thing I hate about social networking. You see things you don’t want to see, or know, and it can be quite upsetting. I guess I am just a bit emotionally fragile at the moment! Man up Lorien, I know right?
…Kaleidoscopic [kuh-lahy-duh-skop-ik]; essentially more, or less meaning ever changing. That is what life is, ever changing. It is what I am, what we all are; ever changing. Other than death, and taxes (sadly had to include that one) there are very few certainties in life. I am a kaleidoscopic boy in a kaleidoscopic world (better than a material girl I guess ha!). In such an uncertain life it is difficult to find a purpose, instinctively our main purpose is survival – but where do you go from there? Do you lead a conventional life of university qualifications, a semi detached house, a job behind a desk, maybe an estate car, a wife, or husband, perhaps even children? Or do you break the mould, and do things your way?
However I have come to the conclusion that it is not what you do that matters, it’s how you do it. Success does not always equate to happiness, I think many people forget that. They can go hand, in hand, but a lot of the time that’s not the case. Happiness has a lot to do with your attitude towards life, it is after all a state of mind. We all have our own versions of happiness, some of us are easily pleased, others I don’t think will ever be happy. Either way you have to learn to appreciate even the minutest things in your life, only that way can ever be truly, well even slightly content (now if only I could follow my own advice…).
I have made a tradition of getting a new shirt for my birthday courtesy of Daddy. The result is I drag him for hours around the city, going back, and forth between department stores, and boutiques much to his distress, trying things on, and generally taking my time – as I am quite fussy with my shirts, and then it’s awkward to find one that fits me well. Luckily I found one quite quick this year. It is a bit of a risk, but I fell in love with this loud PS by Paul Smith number.
It is a bit of a risk, yes, but I think it suits me, and I am sure I pull it off. I am a patterned fiend (stripes get a tad mediocre), and I love a spot of paisley! Love the colours in it too, it’s very fresh, and the paisley looks almost contemporary? Perfect fit too, one thing I love how Paul Smith – all my Paul Smith shirts are amazing fit (as if I haven’t gone on about Paul Smith enough in this blog ).
As you can see I wear it with the sleeves rolled up – I am just not a fan of long sleeves, and I like my arms free. It amazes me how something such as rolling your sleeves up can transform an outfit, it’s an instant progression from semi casual to formal in one swift move. It’s a little bit different, and a little bit crazy – but that’s just me (don’t pretend you don’t know I’m crazy). It is a very unique piece, with the print exclusive to Paul Smith, the only other time it is used is in some of the plain mainline Paul Smith shirt’s this season, as a swatch of print on the cuff.
So yes, I had a rather nice birthday, night out with close friends, and I made some bubbly cocktails before hand (naturally this is me after all)! Nothing like bubbly, wild hibiscus flower, and syrup, with Chambord, now is there?! Then the next night I had an intimate night in with some fine wine, and superlative company.
I am not feeling very attractive this week, not that I normally feel attractive on a normal week – but I am sure you get what I mean… just one of those weeks. Most of the time I look reasonable, but this week just seems to be an epic fail, but I haven’t been feeling very happy, and I’m sure that reflects in my looks too! I’m avoiding mirrors, and cheese cake just to be safe.
Right I’m off to sulk (notice only sulk, I don’t have time to fall apart, not today – I am a man on a mission (not sure what my mission is yet…)) on my chaise longue with my darling sugar glider Louis, and a book perhaps (probably my iPhone too, we’re inseparable you see). I leave you with a celebratory glass of Moët:
I’ve certainly had enough myself recently . Bisou!
It isn’t what I do, but how I do it. It isn’t what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.
- Mae West